Marriage Why Not ..!

Marriage Why Not ..! 
By: M. Zamroni 

"Woman was created from man's rib, not from his head to be above it, nor from his feet to be its base, but from his side to be a friend of his life, close to the arm to be protected and close to the heart to be loved" 

Dad and Mom basically have to immediately marry her it was time to do the wedding. Therefore, marriage should not complicated. Because sometimes deceived by the Islamic community mores hard that is not from Islam, make it difficult to raise dowry marriage (dowry / money mark so), so often about marriage deliberative events that have been nearly so, be undone again due to differences in dowry case. Arose desires to maintain the religion of the nobility (the descendants Then / Baiq), when his own daughter or son was up to the level of passion that has been raging. So in some Islamic country in Indonesia is recognized by "custom" of what is called "elopement" (merarik). 

Elopement was the result of the father's side who insisted on dowry, is going in-law's dowry could not desired by female parents. Then the woman dilarikannya, based on an agreement between men and women, then women were entrusted to close relatives of the man. After 1 (one) day, then the woman told his family that he wanted to marry. Finally the father got angry, but do not act to separate them. Stuff like this is basically do not need to happen, because the Prophet himself taught a good example when there is a young man came to Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and expressed his desire to marry and mintak looked for a wife, let alone that picked the Prophet, when he did not have the wealth to memberlangsungkan marriage. Then the Messenger of Allah told him to look for something even though the form of an iron ring to be a dowry (a sign). Youth and even then said that if he does not have an iron ring. Finally the Holy Prophet asked him what is the verses of the Koran which you know by heart ..? then the young man replied that he memorized the letters and letter-so-so. Then the Prophet asked the woman who deserves to make the young man's partner, Would you be married to a man of wealth and dowry that can be given only teach a few verses of the Koran, letters and letter-so-so ..?after the girls had to know who would become her husband, although he was still poor, but it looks obvious sincerity radiating from his eyes, the young woman accepted the proposal Messenger of Allah so that young people were married with a dowry verses of the Koran and live them with the lucky and happy for years. They lived in luck, because luck was located on the belief kepad Allah, hope that is not broken and did not look at the future with grim eyes. 

In the discussion this time Nurul Wustha try to discuss about the marriage, for more details of this discussion, we will try to elaborate on some opinions' Ulama marital problems. As to whether Marriage is ...? 

To initiate the discussion this time, we need to study the word of Allah in Surat an-Nur verse 32 which reads: 

وَأَنكِحُوا الأَيَامَى مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاء يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

It means: "And kawinkanlah people who by himself among you, and decent people (spouse) from sahayamu servants are servants of man and the woman sahayamu. If they are poor, God will enable them of His bounty. And Allah Maha Luas (giving him), All-knowing. "

Some scholars argue that the word of Allah khitob وأنكحوا الأيامى is common to all people. Some others believe that khitob it is the guardian and sayyids. And there is also an opinion that the prospective husband khitobnya is because they are ordered ntuk married. 

In marital problems in normal conditions, ie conditions under which a person is safe from doing things that are forbidden, the scholars' did not find an agreement, they are divided into several groups as follows: First: Dhohiriyah believes that marriage is obligatory and those who leave will be sinful. The argument of this group is that in explaining marital problems using shighot Allah amar (command), it is obligatory to indicate on the marriage. 

Second: Syafi'iyyah argue that legal marriage is not sinful permissible and leave it. They argued that the marriage is to obtain pleasure and satisfy lust, then the permissible legal marriage as eating and drinking. Third: Jumhur scholars have argued that marriage is Sunnah. They reinforce his opinion with some of the following arguments:  the companions of the Messenger did not deny that he was not married at the time.

 If the marriage is obligatory for the guardian must inevitably force the child to his widow to marry, but it is forbidden by Islamic rules. "

 Understanding scholars that sayyids not obliged to force his slaves to marry, but very lafadz (slaves) in the word of God in athofkan on ayaam pronunciation so that it shows that everything is not mandatory. Word of the prophet: 

 من أحب فطرتى فليستن بسنتى ومن سنتى النكاح 

"whoever then make fun of my religion sunna with sunahku, and partly from sunahku is marriage"

Word of the prophet: 

 تزوجوا الودود الولود إنى مكاثر بكم الأنبياء يوم القيامة 

"Marry the loving and fertile women, in fact I'm proud of the number you to the prophets on the Day of Resurrection"

From some of the above opinion, Muhammad Ali al-Shobuni scholars favor jumhur opinion that marriage is based on the hadith sunna  shohih من رغب عن سنتي فليس مني (Those who are not happy with sunnahku then instead of my lineage.) Then how huukumnya guardian force bikr (women who were virgins) who already baligh to marry? 

Syafi'iyah under paragraph وأنكحوا الأيامى say that the guardian may force bikr to get married because of generality of the verse. While al-Jashos argues that the guardian should not be forced bikr unless there is permission. Because the Messenger of Allah ordered the guardian to consult with and he said bikr وإذنها صماتها. (Silence is her permission). 

Talking about the problem of marriage is something we need to do, then how do women get married without his legal guardian.? Syafi'iyah circles and Hanabilah say that women can not marry without guardian, they are basing their opinions on the word of Allah وأنكحوا الأيامى and ولا تنكحوا المشركين حتى يؤمنوا. Khitob on the second verse is male rather than female. Because if it allowed women to marry without guardian undoubtedly gone custody of the guardian. Muhammad Ali al-Shobuni echoed that view but he was not basing his opinion on the second paragraph above, but in the hadith لا نكاح إلا بولي (Marriage is not valid except with a guardian). 

Marriage is a rule that would establish an Islamic society that gemah ripah, just and prosperous, loh jinawi. Security in the spiritual and temporal, and reliable. So men who are not married and women who are not married, both still single and her widow or widower and, because of divorce or the death of a husband or wife, he must immediately look for his soul mate.Questions that have not been married or marry a virgin is no longer solely a private matter of the relevant, or affairs "household" of the two parents concerned, but also a matter of Jama'ah Islamiyah, he said the Islamic community that surrounds that person . 

So, basically very dangerous to let too long a young man was married and an unmarried girl. Home guard with a strong religion and customs that may be able to stem the firm not to place immorality. But investigations of Life Sciences in modern times shows that many mental illnesses are caused by sexual lust. Increased association of modern life today, to grow many things that will stimulate lust sex. Lewd readings, films fascinating and moving lust, all result in the attitude of life.Thus it is necessary to cope with a marriage of all mental illnesses are caused by the lust for sex and so we do not fall within the error. So marry me if it's time ...!